I was never diagnosed with it AT ALL, i have never been on medication etc. And it is only till now, when i look back at my life and realise it is screaming at me, jumping out at me.

I am likewise, not be big-headed (!) intelligent and pursuing a career in architecture. And while i find the work/theory fine, its the staying focuses, i just cannot do it, never. Even now upon starting a set of house plans, every line i draw with the pencil, bam…im off, need to go for a walk, look at an article, look out the window.

I have never been able to stop fidgeting either, i used to always wonder why i was the only one who did it, constantly moving when sitting down, blinking, tapping, sniffing, ITCHING, drives me mad!

SLEEPING- the bane of my life!! why oh why can i not just keep a normal sleeping habit, i have tried everything, cutting out sugars bla bla, nothing works, its always the same, at 12am im simply not tired even if i only got 2 hours sleep the night before, always wanting to stay up, but its more than a ‘want’ as you know!

My passion for certain things is unbelievable and i am pursuing these things, well, yet oh my, if i could simple stay focused i would do them astronomically fast and WELL.

So medication…where and how?

Iv never even been to the doctors about it, never diagnosed by anyone, just me.

One of the kids from primary school at about 7 years old, on our end of year poem (nearly 2 decades ago now!) wrote:

“Josh – Always on the move, as fast as a formula 1 car” Something like that, that’s saying something coming from a kid that young!!!

My life has been a clustered mess since I was a child. I was diagnosed when I was young, but never took medication for more than a few months. Now at the ripe age of 24, I am struggling to get my life on track. My mind, body and entire life feel like they are spinning in a endless circle. I am immensely talented, and I know that, but I cannot focus on one thing, always getting excited and “gung ho” about something, starting it, then before I know it I’m on another task or goal, only to stop that and start another.

Then there’s the talking. Talking. Talking. Talking. Oh, did I mention I talk? Because I do. It’s caused problems in my social life, even though friends tend to find it amusing at times, they’ve told me they wish I’d just shut up sometimes.

Responsibility? I want it, but can’t handle it. Ask me to do something and I would be glad to, if I could ever remember to do it.

Sleeping is funny too. It takes me hours to fall asleep, only after extensive reading and researching the most randoms things. It’s like while I lay there trying to doze off, my mind feels the need to talk to me and tell me things. It’s sad that there is no one else awake so I can let some of this “mind traffic” out through the tunnel I call my mouth.

Sadly, I didn’t realize this may be the ADHD that I had when I was a child, only now as an adult, until after it ruined some huge relationships and put me through job after job. I am now trying to muster up the money to talk to someone about it, and hope I could afford any medication offered. Insurance is a luxury I could never afford; saving money isn’t my strong point.

Finally realizing this and reading about how medication and treatment can affect my life has brought me several times to tears of joy. Can I actually live responsibly and get rid of these feelings and raging tornadoes of thoughts? Can I stop and focus on important things? I’ve tried SO hard, but it’s never worked.

Maybe finally I’ve found a solution.